catching the giggles from a blind masseuse

So getting a massage here in China is super cheap, the massage I got yesterday for an hour was 80cny which is about $12usd. So Money Marj and her friend Alexia take me to a place... Now when I get in front of the place the sign says massage by blind Masseurs...Take a look for yourself



immediately I think to myself wtf, they can't actually be blind... well they actually were. When I walk in there were blind people sitting around. Now at this point a lot of things are going on through my head, a glob of exploitation of people with differences, with a dash of is this really serious, topped off with inordinate amounts of WTF! So they take us to a room which smells REAL funny, at this point I'm ready to get out of here, they then take us to a room that smells much better, but has a millipede running across the wall... now i'm two steps from the door... After some coaxing I eventually lie down, and this was one of the better decisions I've made in my life. Her hands and elbows were so gentle, but had the firm touch that was just magical.

However her magic hands were not enough to keep me from laughing as soon as she got to work. As has been internationally studied the giggles are one of the hardest ailments to get rid of. Also they are incredibly contagious. Now close your eyes and imagine for a second myself face down, cracking up, and squirming, with a blind masseuse over the top of me likewise cracking up and the masseuse next to her starting to laugh and clearly alexia and money marj begin laughing. The entire massage was full of laughter. However, she still did such a great job and since I can't speak the language so I have become accustomed to giving hand gestures, like the Stephen Trapp thumbs up of approval.


So I gladly gave her the gesture. It wasn't until the massage was pretty much over that Money Marj reminded me that they were blind and could not see the international Stephen Trapp sign of approval. I then went to saying different versions of OK which I've realized everyone knows what it means.

The massage concluded and I was extremely pleased, it was one of the better massages I've had in my life. Below is a picture of the lovely ladies, the one in the pink is the one who worked her magic hands on me!





Thought of the day... I REALLY need a lineup

MF... I'm ILL!!!! COMPETE!

Wow, so I'm approaching Day 10 in China and the tourist luster has just about gone and I might be starting to get bored... I MISS ANN!!!!

MF i'm ill (literally)but it's ok cause i'm a beast
I then went met up with Lovely Luci for a late lunch. My first time at Peking Duck!!!! Now as some of you know I'm a competitor, I love competition for the sake of competition sake. So while enjoyinig a lovely lunch of peking duck, duck bone soup, this gross shrimp vegetable dish, some kind of pickled vegetable, fried rice washed down with a milkshake Lovely Luci challenged me. She made the statement that if I finished all of the food that was left, which was a substantial amount then she would pay for the meal. In the spirit of the Olympics...GAME ON! I looked at what was in front of me and developed a strategy. I would tackle the least appetizing dish first, the shrimp vegetable combination. There was A LOT of this one left! I also had to eat the peppers of one dish so i thought that if i ate this fast enough then I wouldnt taste it, I then realized that if I psyched myself into liking it then i'd be all good, so that's what I did and mmmm was it ever tasty. And what did i wash it down w/ the soup... so tasty! After this I was beginning to feel ill. I then finished off the pickled vegetables, when they brought out MORE FOOD!!!! a coconut milk dish with a fruit in the middle that was so tasty. I had doubts, but I thought COMPETE, COMPETE and probably said it out loud! I finished the rice then I drank this dessert dish fruit and all, then moved onto the hardest part. The HEAD OF THE DUCK. Now the head of the duck includes, skull, brains and that's about it. It was so crunchy that it barely went down, thank goodness they brought out MORE FOOD, watermelon and cantelope! Since I'm in the conquering business, i took some watermelon and cantelope. OK, back to the HEAD, Now when eating the bones it has a real hard consistency, that makes it difficult to go down... Again washed it down w/ more soup. At this point the only thing left was this half of a head staring at me. I attempted to eat it, when I realized that there was a squishy substance, which was BRAIN! I spit it out then covered it in plum sauce put it one of the tortilla like rolls and COMPETED IT DOWN THE HATCH! The last part was then staring at me, crunchy skull, which feels like exactly what it is, pokey bones going down. After a quick change of mind, I of course COMPETED THIS DOWN THE HATCH! All that was left was child's play drink the soup, down the milkshake!

At this point all of the waitresses were laughing at me, not to mention confused why i wouldn't let them take away any of my food. I have to give a shout out to lil wayne and the song a millie because while dancing to move food down my digestive track, I repeatedly uttered the words "MF I'm ill" and I'm a beast, I'm a MF problem, you say you a goon, but what's a goon to a goblin"

Didn't think this would happen... I never thought that a day would come where I scoff at 3 souvenir shirts for $15